Dealing with people who think the world revolves around them

Admit it, we've all met that one person who thinks the world exists simply to please them. Or, alternatively, you're the person who thinks the world revolves around you. But you probably won't admit it.

People who are narcissists or suffer from narcissistic personality disorder have an exaggerated sense of self-importance, have a sense of entitlement, and lack empathy. There is, however, a distinction between being a narcissist and suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Signs of Someone Suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder

• lacks empathy and cannot see the needs of others

• an exaggerated sense of self-importance

• might be rude or indifferent of other people because they think they are "below" them

• the constant need for admiration

• entitled and feels others need to give them special treatment

• exploits others to satisfy their own goals

• is jealous of others or believes others are jealous of them

• constantly talk about their success, influence or attractiveness

• often talks about their fantasies of success, power and recognition of their brilliance

Narcissism vs. Narcissistic Personality Disorder

There's greek mythology about a man who fell so in love with his own reflection in a pool of water that he could not stop gazing at his reflection and eventually starved to death, because he could not leave his reflection. Now don't get me wrong, it's absolutely normal and actually incredibly beneficial to your self-esteem to remind yourself that you are beautiful every now and then, but there are those who consider themselves to be very attractive, interesting and accomplished above others most of the time, whether it's valid or not.

Those who suffer from Narcissistic Personality Disorder typically exaggerate their self-image as a way to overcompensate for their lack in self-worth while narcissism is a personality trait that everyone has on various extents. It can be particularly challenging to deal with severe narcissism or Narcissistic Personality Disorder because of the lack of insight they have in relation to others and how their behaviour affects those around them. However, there are ways to handle them.

Accept them

People who suffer from Narcissistic Personality Disorder will refuse to believe that something needs to change within them, especially in relation to how they behave around others. Sometimes the best thing you can do is realize the person will likely remain the same and you will need to decide if you still want them in your life or not.

Cultivate empathy

Darlene Lancer once said:

“Narcissists do not simply choose to be selfish individuals. Rather, their personality has its roots in dysfunctional parenting.”

Therefore, it's really not their fault that they behave this way, we are all human with our faults and understanding that will help us empathise with the person and tolerate their narcissistic behaviour.

Set boundaries

I can understand that tolerance can only last so long before you explode from frustration or anger. So try to set some boundaries. If they do or say something that's really inappropriate, it's okay to tell them and help them understand that this is not acceptable. You need to realise however that they won't likely accept that they are in the wrong and that it would take a lot of patience to convince them.

References:

Aslinger EN, et al. 2019. Narcissist or Narcissistic? Evaluation of the Latent Structure of Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Brummelman, E, et al. 2015. Origins of narcissism in children.

Kacel EL, et al. 2018. Narcissistic personality disorder in clinical health psychology practice: Case studies of comorbid psychological distress and life-limiting illness.

Krizan Z, et al. 2015. Narcissistic rage revisted.